Hidden Agendas

Hi,

I keep thinking about the above trying to figure out what is your hidden agenda?

Because the facts as they are today only point in you having them.

You have been giving me snippets of your life your inner fears, things you did, or so you say...

Then wanted to be my student even after i had said you don't need lessons...I'M HONEST FOR GOD SAKE! I wish I could bring myself to lie...but I will not sink that low.

Then you offer a job, Get my CV yet not read it but say "impressive CV", in the pub you did not know my age! White lies ok being polite.
Bike rides.

Then I want a closure you don't give it...WHY? you're not planing on getting to know me...you stay away, even when you are not away....months!

All of those promises that have no substance or real meaning....they are all lies!

Why this mental cruelty? what have I done to you for you to string me along that way?


I'm a good person who people always have taken for a ride. I fell victim to this again, but I recon your tactics and lies were the best yet, you sounded so honest and genuine...

WHY did you do it. Do you realise it can destroy me? Your friends wife killed herself, what do you think your lies do to me??? Would you like to have the same done to you?
or maybe women did that to you and you've decided it's payback time eh? and I just happen to pass by..

I tried to believe your promises but how can I? Friends? Friends don't promise the earth and don't deliver even on one of those promises. Or do they just happen to me?

You have hurt me big time...I have waited for 7 months...for the truth...it's not going to happen is it?

They worst thing is that when I was in your company it felt so good and comfortable.

I've never been hurt like this before, because I never cared as much before.

I just wish I knew why you did it all though, what was your reason behind all the promises that you had no intentions of fulfilling?

What was your hidden agenda and ulterior motives? I guess you'll not be that brave to tell me...
Maybe you just enjoy this kind of cruelty...I'm sure it has a name somewhere...

AND I though that true Martial Arts and it's practitioners were about integrity, honesty, decency...
but maybe the Russian Systema carries within it the Russian "spirit" of collateral damage. All for the cause regardless of human cost...trust no one they are all your enemies...lie, kill, betray, destroy...

It's not the Polish spirit thought,
so guess you better stay out of my life for good
I want real truth not the Russian one or the one that you appear to have...

Or maybe you are just blind and deaf in the feelings department...Nah it was all deliberate...WHY tho?
I'm off to crawl back into my tank of armour, having a hart on a sleeve only gives people like you an opportunity to have a stab after a stab after a stab...
I thank you for reminding me how "good" this world really is :(

SO Thank you
it's been a pleasure at times