magnetism

It’s some kind of magnetism that drives me towards you. I don’t know what it is! Why it happened? I’m normally good at controlling emotions…
It’s fine by me if you feel the way you do, if you never want to see me again, I won’t ask you any questions as you have a difficulty replying, that’s OK.

Remember you started it with your “thank you” email, and the other ones and my replies. The “instinct” email, yours “treading carefully in my world” all these were for real. I did not play any games, never liked that…I could not play games like that…never have, never will…
I’m truly sorry if I hurt your feelings. I never hurt anything; I rather walk away from an argument then hurt people, especially you…
But I think your perspectives are different to mine and things got misunderstood…
I think I only “rattle your cage” because it appeared to me as the only way to get any response from you. Undesired one for sure, but a way of checking if you’re still out there…remember I care and wonder…
It was going sort of fine even after South Am trip, the texts from o2. I was in the middle of the concert… with all the music all emotions poured out in a text message about passion…I didn’t even realise I had sent such a text message…the message was true though.
You still talked and opened up to me again; your friend, martial arts…
Then I asked to join you in the life music…no reply…fine.

Everything really changed on Easter Sunday. I went to meet the fox project and then told you about it and everything blew out…

I don’t know what part of “Sunday” annoyed you so much, but I feel I need to explain and clarify my reasons for all the “things” in that email.
Because I FEEL your “viewing angles” are “slightly” different to mine.

If it was the Fox Project that you are upset about then I’m sorry but you were not sharing any information with me and I needed to do something meaningful with my life. I wasted countless hours working for slave drivers, who only used my dedication and hard work without reward for their own benefit for years, I hated them for it but always tried and hoped they will see my worth… it was all in vain. I make enough money now to be able to do something that makes me happy and I have found it, met lovely people because of it. I’ll dedicate my time and money and mind to it, because it makes me happy to help the helpless animals and people who help them. If it’s what got you angry then that is tough! I’m going to stay there.

Intrusive? The picture? Or your address? So I like a guy who was sending me emails like no one before…I liked him lots, he told me things about himself…I liked him more…I’m savvy on the ol’ tinternet (needs must) so I google his name, things are there to see…Google earth. What do I do? Nothing just know a little more…not enough…human curiosity got us out of the caves…how’s that intrusive?

Abusive? “I Rattle your cage” I know… for the reasons as above…who wants to be promised so much and get nowt? Sorry about your dad, I recon he’s not like you, thinking that his driving needs any improvements. Majority of the publics is like that, hence my surprise with you…

all the rest in the “Sunday” is true too, that is how I felt…kiss regret…true about me waiting for your emails to come on my phone…so take it as you will, from how many angles or points of view or perspectives…it’s all true. If it’s too much I can’t help it. It seems I don’t do things by halves and I can’t help the way I feel…so hell it’s the way it is…no one ever kept up with me…

I could never be a bully so I’m sorry if you ever felt that I was. I give people the benefit of the doubt and try and see thing from their side…see what makes them “tick” in the positive way, and I try many times until there’s no way, it's when I give up…

Where there’s hope I fight and pray…

If I believe in something or someone I’ll try very hard…

;)